Strange But Somewhat Satisfying

Fuck This

Fuck…..i need a hug…

I can’t decide where my life is going. Like I don’t know where I will end up in life. Right now its looking like I am just going to be living in some shit place hardly able to get by. A failure. But every now and then I get this kick start that just makes me want to go and be great. Which is awesome. I love the feeling of going without knowing where exactly you are headed, but you know its the direction you want to be in. The sad thing is…that same feeling is gone within a week at the most, then I am back to being a nobody. Some waste of space just going through life with no meaning, no want, no drive to do anything really. I look at my friends and I see that drive. They are willing to go through all that bullshit to get what they want. I don’t understand it, where does it come from. I want to go through college, get a job I acually like…but who doesn’t. Here’s what I see in life…you have to complete school, get a job you fucking hate, if your lucky find someone you love, someone to love (another fun subject, what the fuck is it, how do you know, oh well fuck it.), to spend the rest of your life with, then you die and your kids repeat the process. I find that way of thinking is very unhealthy but I don’t see the point in life. Why the fuck are we put here to be miserable with hints of fun and happiness. I don’t get it. And no need to be as concerned I’m not saying I’m going to hang myself, those thoughts have never crossed my mind as a serious outcome of how I wish to leave this fuckhole of a place. If you were wondering it will probably be in some awesome epic gun slinging adventure that will probably be on the news then made into a movie. Anyways…everything I give a shit about ends up leaving or I fuck it up somehow, probably is a reason I don’t even care anymore. But I’m done feeling sorry for myself now. Ill just keep falling and hoping I land in something worth it other then this pile of shit that i keep falling in.

This is the post i was going to post but didn’t…and the feelings back